10. Phoenix is pretty much potty trained, but some days I’m really lazy and I’ll stick him in a pull-up.
9. I often keep Phoenix up with me until 10 PM because then that means we can sleep until 8:30/9.
8. Ok fine. I’ll stop lying…sometimes Phoenix has stayed up until mid-night.
7. Ok shut up! There was this one time we picked Shawn up from airport and went to a dinner….at 1 AM.
6. Ice cream for breakfast? Of course. More time to burn it off.
5. Phoenix loses his natural mind when I try to “groom” him so the amount of earwax in his ears could stock an entire Yankee’s Candle for a year (and still have some left over)
4. Hide a book under the pillow and distract him with a tiny train so I can finish online shopping? You know it.
3. “Mrs. Campbell- How much TV does your 2.5 year old son watch?” “Do you have a calculator?”
2. I’ve spent the last 6 months really trying to get rid of the pacifer but sometimes when I’m trying to “work” (play on the internets) I give in and hand him, not one but THREE just to shut him up calm him down.
1.Phoenix hurt his leg last week and exclaimed “F*ck b*tch my leg hurts!”. Guess I owe the cursing jar a years wages huh?
Alex writes a humor & personal narrative mommy blog at Before The Baby Wakes. She is the mother of two. One who is 3 & one who is 36. She’s exploring herself & motherhood one sarcastic minute at a time. Follow her on Twitter & Facebook.