So if you read my post on Monday, you know that I’ve been having a rough go of it. There’s nothing worse than being in a rut, and I’ve finally decided to pull myself out of it.
And it. feels. awesome.
Since Monday, I’ve tracked every bite of food that’s gone into my mouth — yes, even the two frozen margaritas I had on Tuesday. They were even more costly than my two shredded chicken soft tacos (which were so delish, by the way). It makes me feel safe knowing that even if I dip into my weekly points, I know exactly what I have left to ‘spend’. If you’re not tracking your food yet, do it! You will shock yourself!
I don’t have a whole lot to say tonight, because I pretty much spilled my guts on Monday, but I did take this screenshot today from my Weight Watchers app that I thought was pretty neat.
I mean, yeah, it’s kind of depressing to see that I’ve basically done nothing productive in over a month, but I told you I was in a funk! At any rate, it did help me a little to see that even just a few months ago, I was heavier than I am now. It is so tough to not get wrapped up in the every day small things, and not forget that you’ve come SO. FAR. On Mother’s Day, I was thinking about last year’s holiday. I remember venting to Andrew about how unhappy I was with my body, and how I just couldn’t get past it. He told me that if I lost the weight by next Mother’s Day (2013) that we could start talking about a tummy tuck (because I knew that once I lost the weight, I’d still need some serious reconstruction — I was right). I’ll need a whole ‘nother post to go into the topic of cosmetic surgery, so I’ll save it for another day! Anyway, the moral is that a year ago, I was a different person than I am now — a sad person who felt helpless. Sometimes I still have to pinch myself to help me realize that yes, you really did lose a lot of weight, and yes, this is real life. Kind of like when you give birth, and you get phantom kicks for a while! It’s like that, but phantom fat feelings. I am probably not making much sense ;).
Also, this is kind of ridiculous, but I’ve been feeling so much jealousy whenever I see someone running. I am always in the car in the morning time — either dropping off Emma at school or commuting to work — and here in the desert, you have to run in the morning or else you’ll basically die of heat stroke. So obviously, I see a lot of runners. I just get so envious of the “me time” that they’re enjoying, the endorphin rush that they’ll experience, and the sweaty glow they’re basking in. I miss it so much. I am trying so hard to find the right ratio of work, family, and personal time — if you ever discover what it is, please do me a solid and let me know!
The Weigh In
My weight in week 39 (the last weigh in post I made — oy) was 153.4. Today, I weighed in at 154.4, giving me a gain of one pound. I was fully expecting this, so it’s not a huge blow to my momentum. I’m doing so much better with tracking, and I’m on my way to my ultimate goal — 145! I will get there, dangit! Right now my total weight loss is 53 pounds even. Cray.
You can read all of my weight loss posts in one place right here. Sha-wing!