Plans and How to Break Them


Facebook's "On This Day" feature has a way of making you feel like a major idiot sometimes. This week, I scrolled through my memories and stopped on a text-only Facebook post, made on June 13, 2010. "Watch out. Me and my 7 year plan are coming through!"  I literally laughed out loud at myself when I read it. Obviously, exactly 7 years have passed since I created some kind of grand plan. I have no idea what it entailed, but I believe I was enrolled in college at the time and was studying to become a Registered Nurse -- what a horrible idea that would have been -- even though I really … [Read more...]

When Your Year is Over

Photo Dec 11, 7 14 37 AM

This year did not go like I thought it would. That is to say, I did not think I would grow, crumble, find joy, experience gut wrenching heartache, burst with pride, and feel like the world was spinning faster than normal nearly every single day. I have to be honest. The southerner in me is compelled to write a Year in Review letter. I never have, I don’t think, but it’s only been because I never really felt like it was an authentic representation of my family and what had happened that year. This year, 2015, will be our first holiday letter. And it will probably be the hardest to … [Read more...]

Hello From Paradise! #BeachesMoms


Guys. So remember when I posted announcing that I was going to be attending the Social Media on the Sand conference in Turks and Caicos at Beaches Resort? I'M HERE AND O M G. Look. Ocean. DRINKS. MORE OCEAN. You guys, this is everything I've needed lately. I've been going, going, going, non-stop since Andrew died. I've put the kids into sports and extracurricular activities to keep them busy, and to help them acclimate to our new normal. That also means I have to cart them around to those activities ;). I love every minute of it, but man. It's so exhausting. I'm so lucky that I … [Read more...]

Because Now I’m Happy

Adam and Ashley

"When am I allowed to be happy in public?" I asked this question in the very first post-suicide blog that I published. The answer is today. Want to see a list of things that I'm doing now that make me happy? Lucky you. I have one prepared. I swim with my kids. I actually go out and do social things. I take my kids to events that I wouldn't have ever attempted before. I started working out again. I even signed up for my third half marathon. and I dyed my hair an avant garde color (gray!) because I wanted to. But you know another reason I'm happy? It's because I've … [Read more...]

My Supposed-to-be Anniversary


Today is July 1st. On this day in 2006, just over a month after I graduated from high school, I married my boyfriend of a year and a half, Andrew. I moved to Nebraska to live with him and start our life together. I was 18 years old, and he was 19. We both had full-time jobs, and we had a cute little one bedroom apartment in the heart of a gorgeous historic neighborhood in the capital city of Lincoln. Life was pretty okay. We were so young, and so naive, but we were happy. And that's what mattered. Deeper, though. Deeper than what was on Facebook, and deeper than what we would let our … [Read more...]

Things Have Happened.

Andrew Ashley

I know I haven't done a good job at all with keeping up with my once-beloved blog over the past year. I've been neglecting what was once my main source of income and my creative outlet. Here are things, ordered semi-reliably from least to most impactful, that have happened in my life in the past 6-ish months: I've gained 20 pounds, sitting at about 170 right now. The reason for this is, on paper, simply explained by overeating and not exercising enough. It's not an excuse, but a big factor is the fact that .... I work full time. More than full time, really, if we're getting picky, but … [Read more...]